Today I'd Like You To Call Me "Metallic Mama"

At least for today. However, I’d also love it if this could catch on even when it’s not applicable.

My inner monologue usually fluctuates between “LOOK AT ME” and “if you even bat an eyelash at me I will flip a table.” If you hadn’t gathered from how much my outfit is reflecting the sun, today is a “LOOK AT ME” kind of day.

I promise it's actually windy and I'm not just like, "OMG my hair HAHAHAHA!" — I promise it's actually windy and I'm not just like, *"OMG my hair HAHAHAHA!"*

I used to think metallic apparel or just metallic things in general were reserved for the years between 1999 – 2002 or so, when Zenon was a thing and when my sister wore weird things she had DIYed with metallic paint and glitter (sorry, Sara). In fact, the lady who made my latte today said, “Hey nice Zenon-vibes,” and I thanked her profusely before over-tipping her. When I was in Prague wandering around the tourist-y shopping area looking for something to spend my money on, I saw this metallic silver skirt, and it wasn’t the only metallic thing in the store either. Internally I thought, “Holy shit, is metallic cool again? Hell yes.”

I am HERE for the metallic trend. Basically anything sparkly or shiny (@YSL’s crazy cool diamond slouchy boots that were just on the runway. Rihanna wore them the other day and obviously no one can ever wear them again because none of us are Rihanna) ends up in my on-going online shopping cart.

Anyway, not all of us are Rihanna, and us plebes need to find other ways to tackle the trend. I nabbed this rose-gold windbreaker off of Topshop the other day and it’s currently my favorite thing ever. I’m visiting my sister over spring break and we’re going to (gasp) DIY some jeans with metallic paint. I told you, it’s a thing again.

The cool thing about metallic pieces is that you can be subtle with them, or you can go big. I would wear a chunky sweater, or a sweatshirt, or an oxford with this skirt, and I instantly look more fun because, simply put, metallic is fun. If I was a person who “hit” the clubs (sounds violent), I would probably wear this skirt. I would wear these shoes to an interview. Metallics almost function as a neutral (especially silver metallic pieces) which make them as versatile as your plain white t-shirt (if you’re up for it).

Also, you don’t have to wear every single metallic thing you own at once. I’m just absurd. Start small and work your way up if this isn’t your usual kind of look. I also want to add (and this applies to any piece of clothing) that if you want to wear it, you should wear it. Even if you’re self-conscious about it. So come up to me today and feel free to look. I promise I won’t flip a table.