I Think Imma Go

Fair warning: this is rather incoherent.

The past semester has been a tornado of L’s (Mom, “L’s” means “losses”) so last week I just said, “That’s enough for now, thank you,” and then went home for a week. Here’s a recap:

I flew home last Friday and then on Saturday I acted as the designated driver for my parents and their two friends while they went to a Cinco de Mayo party (this is #fakenews because Saturday was the 6th but let’s move on). I dropped them off and went to a Barnes and Noble cafe and worked on my poetry portfolio. It was all very angsty. I also bought a book on superstitions because I thought it would be fun, but it’s just kind of weird. It’s called Black Cats and Evil Eyes, so the least I’m going to do is carry it around and hope people think I’m a Wiccan.

I also went to my new dentist, and you may not know where I am from, but it’s not a super elegant place. It’s quaint. But this new dentist’s office is absurd. The waiting room looked like it could have been photographed for Architectural Digest, and then when I was in my chair getting ready to be yelled at for not flossing, I saw there was a TV on the ceiling. Each room has a freaking Roku. Chill, sir. I watched That 70s Show while I felt my gums bleed and it was less awful than normal but still weird because I had a view of my old high school from my chair. They also gave me a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie when I left which seemed counter-productive but whatever.

Then I went to the dermatologist and I said “Sherri, why am I still breaking out so horribly,” and she said, “It’s adult acne!” as if that was supposed to just clear up the whole dilemma. No, Sherri, that doesn’t help. Then she prescribed eight different things and my insurance only covered one of them so thanks for nothing, Sherri. 

I had an interview on Friday in Saint Louis and I’m pretty sure you could see my underwear through my jumpsuit, but I’m also pretty sure you can see my underwear 70% of the time I’m in public so this is fairly non-consequential in the grand scheme of things.

Also, Miley Cyrus’ song is INSANE and I’m obsessed with it and if you don’t like it, bite me. 

I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, so when I went to a food truck rally with my family on Friday, I beelined for the taco truck and asked for one of everything. 

Also, apparently I spent so much money last month on my credit card that they thought it was hacked, so they sent me a new one. That’s my bad.

Before I left the company of my parents, however, my mother handed me a loaf of poppy seed bread and my dad handed me a $50. Two Ws.

Then the flight attendants on my flight back to Baltimore started playing Pink right before takeoff and I thought we had already crashed and I missed it. 

Right now I’m eating Easy Mac on my friend’s couch while watching Aziz Ansari’s interpretation of The Bicycle Thieves. Weird week.